I’m Impatient, I had just enough money to half record this song… enough to get its bones down… enough to add to my upcoming @POZIBLE campaign to give everyone SOME idea of what I might sound like…
then I decided I like it! I like it’s rawness… I certainly can’t wait for my amazing band members to add their strings and beautiful melodies and tones, but I DO have to wait! probably 6 months! and meanwhile.
I decided I’ll share this music around simple and raw with nothing to hide behind, because that’s how I feel about it right now.
I’m at a point where I’m feeling a bit bare. It’s plain for everyone to see I’m really giving it a go, which is a scary step- because it means you might be taking yourself a bit seriously and that in turn means, you might be fooling yourself and kinda sorta embarrassing yourself too!!
I’m 32 now. I have this little voice sometimes whispering to me.. Aaaannnnaaaa… too laaaaate!! Mooooove ooooooooon!!
But I have another that’s a little bit, just slightly louder saying, WHY?!!! THIS is when I have written the best material, THIS is when my voice has matured through the experience of having 4 daughters, the first born when I was 22, the euphoria, the isolation, the joy, the fear, the love, the loneliness, the first real opening of my eyes.
So I’m doing it. I don’t know why, it’s scary, It’s humiliating at times, but mostly, it’s amazing and freeing and joyful!
I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for a while… about my experience of doing things a bit upside down, about attempting to be a musician as a woman in her 30s, about having babies while your mates travel and build careers, about feminism (humanism!) and philosophy and shared experiences.
It’s pretty challenging fitting it in while I’m an at home every day mum of these 4 beautiful souls… I gave up work to be with them every day, which is a blessing, thank God I’m able to! But as any musician will know, keeping up with music world these days is ahhh.. kind of FULL ON!!!! And I never want to risk prioritising unimportant (in the scheme of life!) things over my children’s needs ever again! (I MAY have worked as a designer for a few years and got a little carried away with that business! slight OCD tendencies!)
I’m trying to strike the balance… trying to take music at a slow pace… which is another thing that feels like a bit of an up-stream swim for an impatient character!
Being slow. Being patient. Leaving some gaps for life and love and spirit. It goes against everything we are fed by our culture and I have to catch myself every day and just STOP.
So here it is. Raw half recorded music for you. I hope you like it. My blog will be in the same tone because I’m not doing a lot of self editing here! I hunger for honesty in a world of image and mirage and so I’m going to try my best to keep it real!
(photography @saraenticknap, @freyabenette, recordin @fourty4studios)