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I’m Impatient, I had just enough money to half record this song… enough to get its bones down… enough to add to my upcoming @POZIBLE campaign to give everyone SOME idea of what I might sound like…

then I decided I like it! I like it’s rawness… I certainly can’t wait for my amazing band members to add their strings and beautiful melodies and tones, but I DO have to wait! probably 6 months! and meanwhile.

I decided I’ll share this music around simple and raw with nothing to hide behind, because that’s how I feel about it right now.

I’m at a point where I’m feeling a bit bare. It’s plain for everyone to see I’m really giving it a go, which is a scary step- because it means you might be taking yourself a bit seriously and that in turn means, you might be fooling yourself and kinda sorta embarrassing yourself too!!

I’m 32 now. I have this little voice sometimes whispering to me.. Aaaannnnaaaa… too laaaaate!! Mooooove ooooooooon!!

But I have another that’s a little bit, just slightly louder saying, WHY?!!! THIS is when I have written the best material, THIS is when my voice has matured through the experience of having 4 daughters, the first born when I was 22, the euphoria, the isolation, the joy, the fear, the love, the loneliness, the first real opening of my eyes.

So I’m doing it. I don’t know why, it’s scary, It’s humiliating at times, but mostly, it’s amazing and freeing and joyful!

That’s it.

I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for a while… about my experience of doing things a bit upside down, about attempting to be a musician as a woman in her 30s, about having babies while your mates travel and build careers, about feminism (humanism!) and philosophy and shared experiences.

@freyabennet

@freyabennet

It’s pretty challenging fitting it in while I’m an at home every day mum of these 4 beautiful souls… I gave up work to be with them every day, which is a blessing, thank God I’m able to! But as any musician will know, keeping up with music world these days is ahhh.. kind of FULL ON!!!! And I never want to risk prioritising unimportant (in the scheme of life!) things over my children’s needs ever again! (I MAY have worked as a designer for a few years and got a little carried away with that business! slight OCD tendencies!)

I’m trying to strike the balance… trying to take music at a slow pace… which is another thing that feels like a bit of an up-stream swim for an impatient character!

Being slow. Being patient. Leaving some gaps for life and love and spirit. It goes against everything we are fed by our culture and I have to catch myself every day and just STOP.

So here it is. Raw half recorded music for you. I hope you like it. My blog will be in the same tone because I’m not doing a lot of self editing here! I hunger for honesty in a world of image and mirage and so I’m going to try my best to keep it real!

(photography @saraenticknap, @freyabenette, recordin @fourty4studios)

@freyabennette

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